If It Doesn't Fit in My Backpack
Reducing my wardrobe to one backpack was not minimalist posturing. It was my way of stopping the default urge to accumulate and choosing with more intention.
My wardrobe now fits in one backpack. And it was the best decision I never planned.
Look, I had been thinking about this for a while. I hate fast fashion, owning too much stuff, and compulsive buying. On a human level and on an environmental one. But I have also always loved expressing myself through clothes and dressing well. And dressing well does not mean buying the most expensive stuff or following trends. It means dressing with personality, some coherence, your own style, and making your clothes your own...
And that led me to look for all kinds of weird pieces, things I kept finding and, in the end, to accumulate. Because a lot of the stuff that got worn out I would customize and wear even more, but I was also finding new things and treating myself. And that ended with me owning a ton of clothes. Way more than I need, or than anyone needs.
The move that forced me to decide
That feeling of having more than I need and still buying more always made me feel guilty, but I never fully made the decision. Until a few weeks ago, when I had to move. Damn, that is when the feeling got huge.
Seeing everything I had to carry from one place to another, seeing everything lying around, not knowing where to put it, the stress of spending days with everything all over the place... made me realize I could not keep going like that, going against my values just because my mind is chaotic and I like everything. And even less could I accept something material causing me that level of stress and discomfort. That is where I draw the line.
I decided to keep the basics, donate the rest, and store a few seasonal things in the storage room. Not much, no more than two items. Because a big heavy winter jacket has no business being around in summer, and when winter comes, a denim vest has no business being there either. To donate, since I know it is hard for me to let go of clothes because of that slightly dumb attachment humans get to things, I made myself a three-month rule: if in three months I do not even think about going up to the storage room to get it, I donate it without hesitation. And once I started choosing, I realized I already had a pretty clear idea of what was staying.
What stays in my backpack
10 basic T-shirts: black, white, and yellow. All plain or with very little detail. And it is not because of minimalism, or because I do not like cool graphic tees. It is because I am pretty tattooed, and mixing a printed T-shirt with little drawings ends up feeling like a visual mess of patterns to me. My tattoos are already an important part of the outfit without taking up any space, and the clothes end up being the background.
10 boxers. Here I like loose boxers, with playful patterns and weird prints. 10 pairs of socks: almost all white sports socks, with a few loud and special ones. They are small details people do not usually see, but when they do (which always ends up happening hahaha) I like them to stand out and look good. That is the basic setup for doing laundry once a week. I would keep fewer, but if I am training, depending on the day and the time, I might need two changes.
3 sweatpants, 3 pairs of pants for dressing a bit better, 5 hoodies. All with hoods: 2 zip-ups and 3 regular ones. Every piece chosen with care, every piece with its own personality, its own story, and its own reason to be there.
For shoes, I kept three pairs: my gym sneakers, which are also my day-to-day shoes; a pair of white and yellow Nikes that I feel a kind of affection for that I cannot really explain, but they fit perfectly with my base colors (black, yellow, and white), they go with absolutely everything, and that is not random; and a pair of classic Dr. Martens for when something else is needed.
With jackets, the rule was the same: one black bomber, one customized leather jacket, one black vest and one black denim jacket with patches, one light denim jacket with tears stitched over yellow fabric underneath (because a tear does not have to be the end of a garment), and one long black coat for actual cold weather. Cold or warm, no in-between, no “just in case” jackets. If I am cold, I put a hoodie underneath. If I am warm, I take it off.
Buy less, care more
I try not to buy these clothes just anywhere. I like supporting local businesses and finding more unique pieces. And, why not say it, quite often better ones too. But like everyone else, I still have some pieces from the stores we all know, and little by little I hope to replace them.
And little by little, the ones that are not already customized, I will keep customizing. Or patching up so they last longer and I do not replace them at the slightest excuse. A stain can become a new patch, a tear can become a new seam.
The new standard
Look, the backpack is still big, I realized that while rereading this hahaha, but I hope that over time I will need an even smaller one. For now, I am really happy with the decision and with the new standard: if it doesn't fit in my backpack, I don't need it. And if I want something new, I know I have to get rid of something else and donate it, not hide it somewhere I cannot see it hahaha.
Because accumulating is the easy path. It is what everyone does by default, without thinking. Choosing what defines you and letting go of the rest takes a bit more honesty with yourself than we like to admit.
In the end, it is like when you are working on a project and realize there is too much noise. Sometimes you have to delete code that is already written, cut what adds no value even if it cost you effort. Clothes are the same. The difference is that here, instead of ending up in a trash bin, it ends up in the hands of someone who actually needs it.